Lyndsey The 2 Year Old Sleep Regression: What It Is and How To Get Through It.
So, your toddler won’t sleep? My child was a really good sleeper, or at least a decent sleeper. I would put her down for naps, or put her down for the night and she would chat for a couple minutes to herself, and then she would drift off to sleep. Outside a couple random wakeup’s here and there, she would sleep through a full nap, or through the night, no problem! Now, all of the sudden, she isn’t sleeping anymore! She doesn’t sleep for naps. My child now cries and throws tantrums about going to bed. She avoids sleeping at all costs, and fights it with every ounce of her will. And let me tell you… that girl has WILL pouring out every seam.
Does this sound familiar? Does it sound like your situation?
If so… let me just reassure you. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Toddler sleep regression is wildly common, and I understand what you are going through. Both of my children went through a toddler sleep regression, and it can be wholeheartedly exhausting.
I will also say, just knowing that it’s very common doesn’t make it feel any better. Allow me to validate your feelings for a moment, because I hear you and I see you! It will get better! Especially once you have an understanding of what exactly is going on.
In this post I will review the following:
What is the 2 year sleep regression?
The 2 year sleep regression is a point in your toddlers growth where they suddenly start resisting naps and bed time. This sleep regression can take place at different ages for different children, but commonly takes place around 2 years old. Every child develops and grows differently, meaning your child may experience this around 12 months,18 months, 30 months, or 3 years. It’s hard to put a solid label on something, especially for children, as their environment, milestones, and development all play into when a sleep regression might take place.
Signs that your child might be going through a sleep regression include:
If these bullet points sound like your child, there is a high chance they are going through a sleep regression. Now that you have an understanding of what a sleep regression is, let’s talk about why this is happening! I was going to say, “to you”, but resisted the urge and am adding it now. Because, let’s face it… it feels like it is happening “to you”.
What causes the 2 year sleep regression?
Have you ever had a trip, date, party, or some type of event/adventure planned that you were super excited about? I think most of us have, at some point (maybe not as frequently anymore, #parentlife). When you are super excited or nervous for something, or you have something that you are eager to do, what do you typically do when you lay down? I know for me, I lay there and think about it. I think about how it’s going to go, how excited I am, what I need to get ready, things I need to get done. My brain is going a million miles an hour, and next thing I know it’s 1AM and I am wide awake!
…
Now… step into your child’s shoes. There are so many milestones that they are working towards and achieving around this age. They have learned to walk, they might be learning to:
Run
jump
climb Explore
sing
talk
dance
At this age your child is learning to start socializing and interactively playing. They are starting to minimally use their imagination, and they are becoming more self-aware. They are becoming aware of their environment, the things around them, the things they want and don’t want, and what they want to do. All of this learning, interacting, and these milestones are very exciting for your child. In other words, your child is experiencing a BIG CASE of FOMO (fear of missing out).
The excitement of all these advancements makes it very hard for them to wind down and fully rest the way they need to. They are engaging their minds, thinking about what to play with, what to do next, and what they want to learn! These are great things, and they lead to happy, healthy, independent and active children. On the other hand, they also lead to lack of sleep, and disrupted schedules that can become stressful and overwhelming for you and your child.
There are many other factors, outside of milestones, that could be affecting your child’s ability to get in a good nap, or a good nights sleep.
What else can contribute to poor sleep with a toddler?
- Teething: Some of your toddlers more painful teeth may be coming in around this age. Teething can cause congestion, ear pain, jaw pain, and sore gums. Look for signs of teething such as red, irritated gums, chewing on items, and tooth breakthroughs.
- Separation Anxiety: Most toddlers do not experience separation anxiety anymore, at this age. But, this could be a contributing factor to consider. Toddlers are learning to build stronger bonds and to socialize better at this age, and they could be going through a spurt of separation anxiety with these new realizations.
- Over Tired: Your child may be getting over tired, causing them to fight off sleeping. Make sure that your child’s nap is at an appropriate time of the day. Your child’s nap should fall around noon or the early afternoon to allow for shortened times between waking up from nap and going to bed.
- Nightmares: Your toddler is able to understand images, books, and TV shows much better than they were before. With this skill, your toddler will also be able to contribute to their own imagination at this age. This could lead to a fear of the dark or nightmares.
- Life changes: Big life changes at this age can result in a type of separation anxiety. Their schedule has been interrupted, and the sense of security may have temporarily lessened causing them to cling tighter to their parents.
- Illness: If you are concerned that your child might be ill, which is interrupting their sleep, you should address your concerns with their pediatrician.
Now that we have a better understanding of what the 2 year sleep regression is, and what could be causing it, let’s talk about how to get through it!
Methods to get through the 2 year sleep regression.
It can be entirely exhausting when your child won’t sleep. You had become accustomed to using their nap time to get household chores done, plan lunch or dinner, have down time, and to actually focus on yourself (unless you have slightly older children). Either way, it’s not easy when schedules get interrupted, for you or your children. So let’s talk about some methods to work your way through this sleep regression.
- Keep them engaged: keep your child engaged as much as possible during their “awake” times. Plan activities, get them outside, paint, dance, play games. Do activities that will make your child use their bodies and minds to engage. This will help them to tire out more, and hopefully help them to wind down for naps and bedtime.
- Remove stimulating items: keep stimulating items out of their room or away from their bed (if they are still in a bed they can’t get out of). Remove any lights or objects that talk and make noise that they would want to play with instead of napping.
- Add a nightlight (only if needed): if your child seems to have developed nightmares, or a fear of the dark, consider adding a dim night light. You don’t want to the light to be too bright or stimulating, choosing a Red Night Light ‘paid link’, like the one linked, provides a soft light that doesn’t bother their eyes.
- Create a routine: create a relaxing routine that happens prior to naps or bedtime. Your naptime routine would typically be shorter, while your bedtime routine may be longer. Ideas for a calming routine could be: bath time (use lavender/chamomile bubble bath), reading a book, singing a good night song, telling a good night story, having a short cuddle time, or even mild yoga stretches or quiet music time.
- Use relaxing music/noise: playing a white or green noise sound, or playing subtle relaxing music in the background can create a relaxing environment for your child. Avoid using music with common nursery rhymes, or words, as this will engage your child while they should be relaxing.
- Give them a snuggly item: allow your child to take a favorite stuffed animal or blanket to bed. Give them something snuggly to help soothe them, and to use as a self soothing technique.
- Use relaxing scents: having relaxing scents in your child’s room can help release stimulators that create serotonin. Use a Essential Oil Diffuser ‘paid link’ or a Lavender Warmie Stuffed Animal to diffuse lavender smells.
- Keep calm: try to contain your frustration. If your child is getting out of bed, calmly walk them back in to their room. Tuck them in again, and tell them it’s time to sleep. I know this is hard! Especially when you are overtired. Stressful reactions can release cortisol, a stress hormone, for your child. This hormone can cause flight or fight reactions, and inhibit sleeping.
- Avoid screen time: large amounts of screen time, or screen time right before naps or bed, can create issues with sleeping. The blue light given off by televisions, phones, tablets and other devices can reduce sleep quality. This blue light hinders your bodies ability to produce melatonin, which can delay sleepiness.
- Keep it dark: have you ever tried to sleep in a fully lit bedroom? It’s not the easiest. Even the third shifters I know keep blackout curtains and/or blinds over their bedroom windows. Don’t expect your child to get quality sleep with the bright sun shining through their windows. Invest in good blinds or blackout curtains that can keep a mellow light in their room.
Try to let your toddler soothe themselves. Providing tools and encouragement for self-soothing can create better sleep habits for your little one!
If all else fails, try to let them get their wiggles out for just a little bit longer, especially if it’s during nap time. My toddler has skipped a couple naps, and went to bed earlier, and THAT’S OKAY! There is no perfect guide to parenting. Only you knows what is best for your child at the moment!
How much sleep should a toddler be getting?
A lot of children, around the 18 month mark, will start to work their way down to 1 nap per day, instead of 2. If your child is still taking 2 naps per day, and is fighting their nap times, it may be the right time to switch to 1 nap instead. Your toddler, between 1 – 2 years old, should be getting a total of 11 – 14 hours of sleep per day. If your child is closer to 3 years old, they may be working down to 10 – 13 hours of sleep per day. These total hours of sleep include naps.
Transitioning to one nap per day can be difficult, the most important part will be keeping them engaged. They can become irritable and cranky shortly after the time they may be used to taking their first nap. It usually takes about 1 – 2 weeks for your child to develop a sleeping routine. Be patient, and keep your child engaged in distracting activities while they make the napping transition.
How long does the 2 year sleep regression last?
Some sleep regressions can last up to 6 weeks. Typically, a sleep regression for toddlers only lasts a couple of weeks. It takes about 1 – 2 weeks for toddlers to adjust to new or different sleeping schedules. What this means, is a sleep regression should only last while they make these internal adjustments. Using the above learnings and methods will help in guiding your toddler back on track to a regular sleeping schedule.
Conclusion
So, your toddler won’t sleep? Your toddler should be getting about 11- 14 hours of sleep each day (including naps). Sleep regressions can cause this amount of sleep to decrease. It’s important to help your child back into a regular sleeping routine to avoid a cycle of poor sleep due to overtiredness. Use the information regarding the what and why behind sleep regression in a toddler, and the methods listed to get back on track to guide your toddler back into good sleeping habits.
I hope you have found this information helpful, and that you too can get some much needed rest and relaxation.
If you have any questions about this information, please feel free to drop them in the comments. Let me know how these methods and advice worked for you and your child. Or, if anything, feel free to just vent for a moment! I understand the parenting struggles, and am here to listen or give advice.
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Happy parenting!
Check out other parenting articles:
Quality Family Time: What’s so great about it and how do we do it?
